Is Happiness a Choice?

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This time of year more people than not are struggling with anxiety and depression. As a primary care physician, I am either discussing, prescribing a medication or in some way managing depression and anxiety on a daily basis. 

What is happiness? A sense of well being, that all is OK for that moment in time. A sense of contentment even if life if not perfect. After all there is really no such thing as perfect. 

So is happiness a choice? Is it really just a matter of perspective? Glass half full or empty? If only it were as simple as ordering what you want to eat. 

Happiness may not be a choice that you can choose like ordering extra cheese on your pizza and knowing that you’ll receive what you order. But I have no doubt that there is an important role of choosing happiness if you want to follow on that path.

Positive affirmation has long been a tool for someone to achieve the goals they set in mind.  There is a quote I read that  states “Where you want to be a year from now starts with the decisions you make today.” Making a statement like I really want to enjoy “fill in the blank.” I really don’t want “fill in the blank” to hold me prisoner any longer.

Perspective is also a key factor in tapping into your happiness. My job may allow me a different perspective than most. When I met a new patient last week waiting to hear if her breast cancer is metastatic and thus knowing this might eventually kill her, she decided to focus on today and spend time enjoying her family and grandchildren. 

I recently had a miserable night sleep at the Boy Scouts museum sleep over but as we drove out of Philadelphia and passed the tent of a homeless person covered in frost, I was immediately grateful for the warm museum shelter. 

I saw a patient last week who scored moderate depression on his PHQ9 screen.  He was already on an antidepressant for anxiety and was upset about his wife’s recent hospitalization. We talked about his situation and discussed options to increase his dose. Two days later he came in again with his wife and surprised me when he thanked me for helping him. He was hopeful and no longer felt depressed. There was no dose increase in his medicine and his situation did not change in 2 days.  The transformation came by simply changing his perspective about his life which he embraced. 

Being grateful is also an excellent coping mechanism. Simply being aware and grateful for a blue sky, the smile from a passerby, a warm cup of tea, the wag of your dogs tail and any other simple daily occurrence. Keeping a daily gratitude list of experiences, people, places and activities enhances positive emotions. 

I often tell people you can’t control the cards you are dealt but what choices you make to deal with them really matters. Focusing on the positive strides you can make rather than focusing on those beyond control helps tremendously. 

Don’t be defined by your tragedies. Instead define yourself by how you deal with those tragedies. Meg and her family are a perfect example with the positive energy they have put into Big Waves Foundation and this newsletter.

Medicine, counseling and support have an obvious role in treating depression and anxiety. Do not underestimate the power of choosing happiness, looking for different perspectives and being grateful for blessings you do have. 

Does your life have to be perfect to be happy? Thank God -no ! I have yet to meet that person on life’s journey. Life is not perfect, we are not perfect, but we can find happiness if we seek it. 

Written by Dr. Jane Abdalla

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